This time two years ago, we had quite the surprise. I was three months pregnant, and my daughter wasn’t even one yet. I cried. Of course, I was happy—but I was also scared. Scared of having two under two, scared of going through it all again. My first trimester with my daughter was rough, and her birth was pretty traumatic (though the middle of that pregnancy was great—go figure). The thought of reliving it all filled me with dread—it was still so fresh and raw.

To make it more daunting, my husband has a heavy workload and helps when he can, but we didn’t have family nearby. Solo parenting was already a big part of my life, and I kept wondering: How am I going to do this? Two under two? How?

Well, we survived to tell the tale.

When people say, “Two under two is hard,” they’re not lying. But I want to shine some light on the experience and share a few tips that helped me through.

Lower Your Expectations

It sounds simple, but it’s true. You’re not going to get everything done, no matter what your head tells you. Honestly, your third trimester will likely drive this point home for you. Embrace it. Organizing can help, but it will not be your savior.

Stick to simple meals—leftovers and repeats are perfectly fine. If you’re a clean freak, let it go a little. A dirty microwave or un-mopped floors aren’t the end of the world. You can’t do it all. Talk to your spouse about what truly has to get done, and let the rest go for now. Divide out those responsibilities.

Let Go of Your Pride

When my mother-in-law came to help after the baby was born, I thought my house was spotless. Then, I saw it through her eyes—handprints on the oven and fridge, a dirty microwave I’d forgotten, a stovetop in need of cleaning. And you know what? It didn’t matter.

She told me, “If you see me doing something you don’t like, just go back upstairs.” (For context, we have a great relationship, and she doesn’t impose her standards on me.)

Here’s the thing: you need to let people help. You’re still in charge—delegate according to your needs. Let the church organize a meal train. Let friends help you prep. You’re not superwoman, and the only person expecting you to be is you.

Accept That Chaos Will Reign for Six Months

I was warned about this, and I’m so glad. Those first six months will be chaotic. Not necessarily all-consuming chaos, but there will be a lot of new things to juggle—like whose diaper to change first or how to carve out one-on-one time with your toddler.

When it comes to you and the new baby, though, you’ve got this. You’re so much more confident than your first time around. You know how to change a diaper, what to ask at well checks, and how you handle sleep deprivation. But now, you have two to juggle, and even simple tasks—like deciding who to get out of the car first—can feel overwhelming.

It’s okay. You’ll figure it out.

Teach Your Toddler to Play Independently

If you haven’t done this yet, start now. I can’t stress this enough! In today’s parenting culture, there’s this notion that kids need to be entertained or played with 24/7. They don’t.

Teaching your child to entertain themselves will save your sanity. Yes, you’ll still have one-on-one time, but you don’t need to be their sole source of entertainment. And yes, they might watch TV for the first time—and that’s okay. You’re not a terrible parent for that. Little Bear is still a big hit and comes in handy when needed every now and then.

Know That It’s Hard, but It’s the Best Thing Ever

When your toddler hugs their sibling for the first time, your heart will melt. When they bring toys to share and sit down to play together, your heart might explode. You’ll see your oldest through new eyes, marveling at how capable they are.

That fear of not being able to give enough of yourself? You’ll find that you have enough—enough for both of them.

Don’t Get Cocky

I originally wrote this post about ten months ago. In the first six months, the chaos was more mental than physical. Around the six-month mark, I remember thinking, “This isn’t so bad. I don’t know why people say it’s hard. I’ve got this!”

Then the baby started moving. The toddler figured out how to open doors. Suddenly, I didn’t have enough hands, eyes, or locks.

What I’ve learned through all of this is simple: lean into the chaos. That doesn’t mean your house has to be a disaster all the time, but it does mean embracing this new season with all the new routines, to-do lists, and menu plans it brings. Two under two has brought its share of chaos, exhaustion, and moments of self-doubt, but it has also been one of the most transformative experiences of my life. In the midst of sleepless nights and constant juggling, I’ve learned more about resilience, love, and leaning on Christ’s strength than I ever thought possible. It’s messy, challenging, and sometimes overwhelming, but it’s also beautiful in ways I never could have imagined. If you’re in the thick of it, know this: you’re doing better than you think, and it won’t always feel this hard. The days may feel long, but they won’t last forever. One day, you’ll look back and realize how strong you were—and how much love and strength you poured into both your little ones during this season. Keep going, and remember: you’ve got this. OH! Please eat your food and make sure you are having enough protein everyday.